Even before he did it, Weird-scene Talentino knew that the ninth thing he did on Tuesday afternoon was guaranteed to be the talk of Hollywood for the rest of the decade: Just a few minutes after the eighth thing he did that afternoon which was pulling his Y-front underwear from his ass, Talentino helped guide an old lady to reverse park her car and of course it was spectacular!
The incident took place just outside a popular blood bank where Talentino liked to hang out. Many of the onlookers including paparazzi were awed by Talentino’s patience with the old lady, as she slowly drove the car while following his directions. Talentino may be famous for his proclivities and fandoms, but what most people don’t know is that his respect and adoration for old women is rivalled only by his appreciation for masturbation to vintage porn.
The Surprise Ending
Being the passionate craftsman that he is, Talentino put up a truly epic show of patience and masterful parking guidance that afternoon and just as the old lady situated the car the way Talentino wanted, he did something nobody expected. As she disembarked from the car slightly bent over, Talentino reached down and in a super quick gesture he pulled on her cotton underwear, giving her a wedgie.
Even though the wedgie made her look more bent-over, the old lady smiled and gave a thumbs up to the excited audience who had tears of joy in their eyes just like she did. She had never received a wedgie before but she knew that a Talentino wedgie had to be something special.
Standing there with her underwear drawn over her head she felt proud that the great Talentino had chosen to direct her parking.
Part of her wished that actor Sam Yell Jackson had been with Talentino at the time so she could have met him. Sam Yell Jackson was always the most audible actor in any movie he starred in. Nonetheless it was great to be part of history.
She didn’t really see the big deal about a parked vehicle: to her it was just the same as a moving vehicle, just a little bit slower. But since everyone was so excited, she wasn’t going to stop them from cheering. The old lady continued to wave, thinking perhaps the only way she would know if her parking was great was by waiting to ask people in Heaven since at least everyone there would be honest.